life post BAR exam

Hello everyone! It feels like forever since I've updated you on our lives! Feels good to be back. We have loved being here in Utah with family and friends and are trying to soak it up for all we're worth.

Here's my cute Stan at our solar eclipse watching party that my Mom threw - complete with popcorn, scones, and watermelon. My Mom ... she loves parties, and is always looking for an excuse to throw one. Love that about her!

   A little Baskin Robins grand re-opening celebration. We couldn't turn down that opportunity! 

collages that these cuties made at the BYU Museum of Art - Art class.

Lots of time playing with friends

golf with the Freemans

Island Park and Yellowstone with Nate's Family

Celebrating the 4th of July

Getting ready for BYU games

swim lessons

partying with cousins

parade watching with our match makers and their cute kids

swimming with Charlottesville friends

Jacob Family Reunion in the beautiful Mountains of Utah

Saying goodbye to Aunt Alissa was not fun :(

When Stan asks me to get out his violin - I come running.

Learning how to use my new camera - yay!!

Earlier this summer - taking them to BYU to check out my old work place that I loved, and the HFAC

 Having Nate gone studying for the BAR - we tried our best to stay busy and felt fortunate to have a few of our Charlottesville friends here to help us pass the time. So much respect for Mothers who for one reason or another are raising kids alone. I didn't even have to provide, and it was so difficult. Since then we've just been having so much fun with each other mostly! Love being with my sweet family on this journey of life.

on nurturing children

I have been thinking about the great responsibility it is to be a parent: the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well being of a child that is placed in our care. Is it any wonder that parents go to bed tired at night? Yet knowing that this trust is placed in us also gives a sense of joy and happiness - to know that our loving Father in Heaven trusts us enough to place the care of one his His precious children into our hands. I know that someday I will go before Him with an accounting of how I have done. Yet knowing that even my best efforts will be presented with such imperfections, I feel overwhelmingly grateful for a Savior who turns my very imperfect efforts into something more beautiful. I have been pondering on what it is that He wants us to learn from being parents. If His purpose is to help us become like Him - then how does creating and nurturing allow that process to take place?

I remember feeling that joy and responsibility when both of my sweet little boys were born. Both the joy and the responsibility felt overwhelming to me to the point of tears. I know my husband felt the same. The sense of awe at taking part in glorious creation, and the sense of feeling responsible for this perfectly helpless little baby.

Now that several years have passed, I ponder and reflect on how I can nurture them better. First, how I am doing well and then how can I make small daily improvements? The foundations of nurturing are simple. First I look to our Father in Heaven and observe how He nurtures us. He has given us a beautiful earth on which to live with water, soil, and sun. He provides for us physically. He has given us families or others who nurture, teach, and love us. He nurtures us emotionally. He has given us language, music, great thoughts. He nurtures us mentally. He has given us scriptures and the words of Prophets. He nurtures us spiritually.

How can I look to the example of our Heavenly Father in how He nurtures us? My husband and I can give our children a home and good food to eat. We can provide for them physically. We can give them kindness and warmth and love. We can provide for them emotionally. We can teach them from our experience, from good books and provide for them good mentors. We can nurture them mentally. We can teach them from the scriptures and the words of the Prophets. We can nurture them spiritually.

Although it sounds simple, the daily nurturing of each child requires a dedicated and willing mind and heart. Finding time to nurture ourselves can be daunting, especially when a parent finds themselves alone in the task of parenting - yet it is possible when we make plans, and reach out to others for support.

For each parent, the work of nurturing can look different. I believe that Heavenly Father sends a specific child to a specific set of parents, knowing that these parents will best be able to nurture this child for their specific mission in life. Perhaps sometimes that even includes knowing that a child will learn from the mistakes of a parent.

So while the task of being a parent is great - perhaps the greatest task we could receive on this mortal journey, I know that we do not have to do it alone. I find such comfort in the words of our Savior who said, "I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you to bear you up." While this scripture is written for missionaries, I truly believe that parents are in a very real sense, missionaries - teaching, nurturing, blessing their children, and in this greatest task, a loving Father in heaven could not and will not leave us alone.

On Miscarriage

I never knew before I miscarried what it felt like. I never thought I would be in this position. Having my first two children was natural, and they came so quickly, I guess I just assumed the rest would be that way as well. Experiencing the excitement of finding out you are pregnant after hoping and waiting, and then the sadness and pain when you realize those hopes and dreams will not be fulfilled, stretches you. It is tragic. It hurts - deeply, painfully. Now I know what it feels like, twice now. Close together.

This time I handled it better though than last time, oddly enough. I still cried, a lot. It still hurt - but this time, I turned more quickly to God and felt love for Him and from Him. I don't know if it's because I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel and now know it's ahead, or because I'm growing in my faith and humility and trust. Humility - yes, and faith, yes, and hope, yes, and charity. All of these lessons Father wants me to learn. Why does it require pain sometimes? I don't really know the answer - except that I understand someone else's pain now a little better. I understand the Savior's love a little better now, too.

What have I learned from this experience? I have learned to be grateful. So much more grateful for the miracle and precious gift of life. I look at my two little boys differently now. I always appreciated and loved them, but that love now is even deeper. What a precious gift is life - each day, each moment.

Learning to trust in God's timing too - I've seen His gentle hand guide me in a different direction before. I'm seeing it again. His path has always been higher, and better, and sweeter in the end - even though yielding to that has always required a little stretching of faith.

In the end - I love Him more. I know that His ways, are higher than my ways. I know that His love and light, is greater than mine. I know that I want that - and that's not going to be easy to get. It requires something. But that something is SO worth it. I know when I get to the other side, if I'm worthy to enter those pearly gates, I will say - is that all. Is that all that was required of me - for all of this?

Gems from Dad

Father's Day made me think so much of my Dad. No one can deny the significance of a Dad in a child's life. So many predictors of success are determined by Dads. The presence and love of a Dad not only makes a child's life possible, but also much easier, and happier and better. I am mindful of friends though who for one reason or another do not have Dads as a part of their lives. My heart is with them - and I am confident, that God reaches out His arms to them more abundantly. All of us have Dads though - and we can learn from them, one way or another.

My Dad has a pioneer heart. He wasn't one to say that he loved us on a daily basis, but he sure showed it. He taught us to pray, he taught us to serve, he taught us to be disciplined and diligent. He showed through his example a tireless and faithful devotion and dedication to our Creator. He fulfilled his callings and responsibilities one hundred percent. He was the first to show up and the last to leave - cleaning up after everyone was gone.

My Dad is a builder. From a young age he was given heavy burdens and responsibilities - being asked to stay in the mountains and tend thousands of sheep by himself from an early age. He learned courage and responsibility and faith. He was not afraid of hard tasks before him. After selling his sheep business, he went back to school with nine children and graduated with a degree in Accounting. Yes, my Dad is also brilliant. At the same time he was building our large 3 story home, to accommodate his large and growing family. He knew no limits to work and effort, often staying up late into the night to complete his school assignments.

My Dad has a tender heart. I have often seen him begin to cry - sometimes uncontrollably when sharing tender memories of feelings. The stories he shared as a missionary in the Philippines for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, are what gave me the desire to also serve as a missionary in Argentina. He loved the people of his mission, and he gave his whole heart to serve and bless them.

My Dad worked so hard, so that his 9 daughters and 2 sons could have every opportunity they could - music lessons, travel, education. He wanted us to succeed, and in turn bless the world through our talents.

My Dad's patience is amazing. As a young 17 year old driver I got into 3 accidents (3 different cars) in 2 months. Yes, they were all my fault. He was very patient through all of them, until after the last one he said kindly "Jo, you must be under a lot of pressure right now". I knew, my Dad had mastered the principle of patience.

My Dad loves my Mom and has served along side her for nearly 50 years, to bless our family. It has never been beneath him to fold laundry, do the dishes, cook a meal, or make our beds. It happened so often, that it was not uncommon for my Mom to ask him to do something else, so that she could do it. He would wake up early to make breakfast, then wake us up and kneel with us by our beds to pray.

As a little girl, I begged to go with my Dad to visit his property in the mountains, or tend his beehives. I loved how I felt when I was around him. He was so willing to answer any question I had - patiently and respectfully. He made me feel like I was the most important thing to him.

My Dad has been faithful to my Mom. In a world of so many distractions, my Dad has disciplined himself and been faithful and dedicated to my Mom. I never worried about my Dad's commitment or honesty or faithfulness. He has a pure heart, and that means a lot to a daughter.

In the end, I couldn't have asked for a better Dad. And though he has never gotten a lot of praise for his fancy clothes, nice cars, or debonair ways (he doesn't care for them :), he has the love and affection of this little girl forever.

I love you, Dad!

What are some things that you love and respect about your Dad?

Pearls of wisdom I learned from my Mother

Mother's Day made me think so much about my Mom, and all of the amazing and important life lessons she has taught me. My Mom has been my greatest life teacher and coach. Here are some pearls of wisdom she has passed on to me.

1. You don't have to have a lot of money to be very happy.

My Mom was proposed to by a millionaire before she accepted a proposal of marriage from my Dad - a sheep rancher. While she knew she wouldn't have her steinway piano that she so dearly wanted, or would probably never live in a large mansion on the shores of California, she knew that with my Dad she would have everything she ever wanted - true love, a man of undefiled faith and courage, and a happy family. My Mom knew that money can't buy you happiness.

My parents sent my sister just older than I and myself to live in Mexico when we were 12 and 14 to live with a young Bishop, his wife, and their sweet infant son. My Mom knew that in Mexico, we would come to see that the light and joy of happiness, does not come from wealth, but from joy in the Savior Jesus Christ. I saw that joy and light whenever people lived any principle of the Gospel of Christ, whether they realized it or not.

Having said that it's obvious that we help our brothers and sisters who are suffering due to lack of basic resources - because it's not easy to focus on what's most important in life, if you are worried about how you are going to feed your child their next meal. In a recent study, Americans said that their happiness peaked at around 75,000.

https://blogs.wsj.com/wealth/2010/09/07/the-perfect-salary-for-happiness-75000-a-year/

I think of the scripture in Matthew 6:19-20 that says "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: 20: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor dust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through and steal."

2. You can find joy anywhere, under any circumstances.

I'll never forget driving across this beautiful Country in the back of my parent's 1972 camper. Eleven kids and all pretty cozy there in the back. My Mom would continually talk about the beauty we find everywhere. After living in Europe, South America, Mexico, in the Eastern, Western, and Mid Western parts of the United States - I know what she is talking about. There is beauty and there are beautiful people to find anywhere you go. That's why the Air Force doesn't scare me - I know that wherever we go, wherever we are asked to live, my sweet husband and I will find the best around us, and we will love it and we will love the people we meet and my children will as well.

3. True happiness is found in following the teachings of Jesus Christ and living His Gospel.

While my Mother always encouraged us to work hard, be the best we could be, develop our talents, and shine wherever we could - she always grounded us, helping us to remember that greater than worldly glory and acclaim, was God's glory and His joy in us. That knowledge has influenced so many important decisions in my life. While the world tells you that you're crazy for choosing this path, rather than another - I have found such happiness, in acting on that faith. And yes - each path is unique and personal, but trying my best to put Christ first, has always given me my greatest rewards.

4. More often than not, the greatest service and the greatest work that is done in the world goes unnoticed, unheralded, and unappreciated.

This Sunday morning I was thinking of the Savior as he suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane. He came back to find his apostles sleeping. Think of it, the greatest act that has ever been performed, and the greatest pain that was ever known, and not a single other mortal to even notice, or care, or comfort.

I do not even want to compare because one is monument, and another is not - but I think so often Mothers feel the same way. Did anyone even notice or care, that I just changed a stinky poopy diaper for the 20th time today? Did anyone notice how I controlled my temper, or fed my toddler, or woke up 12 times during the night to feed my infant, or .... the list goes on. The greatest teachings, the greatest work for nurturing, loving, serving, being a friend - most times the world doesn't give you much cheering on.

A few weeks ago I got to solo with a small Orchestra. I remember thinking after getting flowers, applause, praise - wow - that was really fun. I could do that again. I came home and told Nate - if people knew how much harder it is to be a parent, they would be showering me with much more gifts and praise than I just got. :). Seriously though - but those flowers, that praise - it dies away. Your babies will live forever.

5. The development of faith, hope and charity should be our greatest desire and it requires consistency. Many times growing up I woke up early to find my Mom on her knees in prayer or reading her scriptures. She constantly served and loved others around her - inviting a new family for Sunday dinner, opening her doors to countless neighbors who needed a comforting, encouraging word, or visiting the sick, lonely, rejected, lost, or sad. As a result she has grown into a woman of great faith, great hope, and great charity. She has taught me that these gifts and blessings come with effort.

6. Children are a joy. My Mother delighted in her children. She would hold a baby with the greatest love. I knew she loved being my Mom and I always knew how much she loved me. Yes, it wasn't always easy for her to have 5 babies under 5, and she will be the first to tell you that she wasn't a perfect Mom. But now that I'm a Mom, I admire her and respect her even more.

7. Repentance is a gift. My Mom is so good at repenting :). She is quick to say 'I'm sorry', and quick to forgive. She has found peace and joy in her life as a result.

In the end - I am so grateful my Mom taught me these things. Where else could I have learned it so beautifully? And while I fall short so often and sometimes forget, her wisdom and her life and her love guides my life.

I love you, Mom!

What are some pearls of wisdom your mother passed on to you?

Virginia Beach

Saying goodbye to Virginia won't be easy - honestly - but I'm so grateful we have gotten to do sort of a farewell tour. This has been the sweetest little spot for our family to be during law school.

This last weekend we visited Richmond's WWII Memorial, Patrick Henry's Church where he gave his famous speech "Give me liberty, or give me death!". We also got to go to Church there where we got to hear Elder Oaks speak in a regional conference about upholding the commandments of God in a changing world. I loved it. I made some goals for myself that evening on how to realign my life to more closely match the life of Christ. So grateful that change and improvement is always possible on this earth through Jesus Christ! That evening we drove to Virginia Beach and watched an incredible sunset on one side of the sky, and rain and lightening on the other side (we were under clear sky). It was amazing to see the diversity and beauty of the sky.

The next morning we visited the Mariners Museum and went to the beach. We tried to go to Busch Gardens but realized it was closed until the weekend. That was really the only bummer of the weekend - everything else ran very smoothly. Shout out to my number one for planning yet another amazing weekend. We love you Nate!

a Richmond getaway

After Nate completed his last class at UVA Law (hip hip hooray!), we took a little trip to Richmond to celebrate. Also, I got to celebrate my 31st birthday on the 30th. Thanks for all the kind birthday greetings. It was such a nice getaway. Nate's bucket list had a few things left in Richmond that we both wanted to check off. Honest I love his love for history and beautiful things like gardens. Plus it was garden week here in Virginia and we didn't want to pass that up.

We both highly recommend Maymont Gardens (free and gorgeous - as well as great for kids) and Lewis Ginter Botanical Gardens (not free but amazing gardens and exotic butterflies!). We also visited Petersburg Battlefield site as well as Grant's headquarters at City Point. Nate wanted to go to Byrd Theater as well, but we didn't quite get around to it. We also ate at Buz and Ned's real bbq. That was Nate's treat :). Of course we had to stop at Aldi's (my grocery story in the Netherlands I used to shop at with my bike). I'm telling you - the chocolate there (from Germany) is the best. We also got to take a tour of the Governor's mansion and Capital building. Last but not least, the huge Nascar car race was in town, so we were driving to our hotel and we saw these amazing old cars just lined up around Hardees for display. We kept saying how much our Grandparents would have enjoyed taking a walk down memory lane there. Mason and Stan like it too.

Here's a little video we took. Sorry the resolution is not the best - pics from Nate's ipod. I lost our camera on a trip (don't even get me started on how tragic that was for me), and we are waiting to invest in a new one. At the end Stanley was crying because we had seen a baby in an elevator and he had wanted to hold her. I thought it was so cute so I had Nate record it. That boy and babies. He's obsessed (just like his Mama). Also, we don't always eat this healthy ;). Mason had his first hamburger. Now he's a real American boy :). He just never wanted to try one before.